Traumatic Experiences

Many crazy things happened towards the end of the book. Things I never expected occured, like when Beloved and Paul D got together, Sethe tries to kill the white man who offered Denver a job, and after Beloved had such a great on the household they never speak of her again once she disappears. Their behaviors changed suddenly as these events occurred.

It wasn’t only once that Beloved offered herself to Paul D, but twice. Although they both loved and adored Sethe, they both went behind her back. It was Beloved who forced herself on him. Her sex drive was what got in the way. She raped him and reminded him of the time he got raped by white men at Sweet Home. Remembering this horrific event made him feel inferior to Beloved’s force. Still his sex drive allowed him to ease his traumatic memory as Beloved forced herself on him and made him remember everything. He had no choice but to go through the experience again but in a more pleasing way.

Sethe’s fear of slavery interfered with her train of thought. She was very paranoid of the white man who came to talk to Denver. He was a reminder of her past at Sweet Home and also reminded her of traumatic experiences. This drove her to try to get rid of that man who came off as a threat to her. Her bad memories were taking over her decisions.

As the story comes to an end, so does Beloved. Nobody knows where she went. It seemed as if they didn’t care that she was no longer there. It was as if she was never there because they never spoke of her again. Paul D even admitted that he didn’t care, but he was the only one who spoke of her. Paul D had the urge to say something about her because he knew she was a bad spirit to have around. Denver and Sethe didn’t feel a need to speak of her because they saw they were better off without her. If there was one thing they could agree upon about Beloved, it was that she caused nothing but problems. “It was not a story to pass on,” narrated Toni Morrison.

Many of these events were influenced by the remembrance of Sweet Home. Their pasts have had such an effect on them that they influence their actions and the way they thought. In the end, Beloved was just a temporary curse.

Crashing Behaviors

 Reading half way through Toni Morrison’s novel, Beloved, a lot has happened. One thing that really stands out is that one shouldn’t trust in others too much. Sethe, for example, came out of slavery wanting to give a lending hand to anyone who came by her. She took in Paul D, took in Beloved, and still had to take care of her daughter. Her heart may be just too big, even after all the suffering in slavery. The horrible things that she had gone through never shrunk her heart. Paul D who has gotten very close to her said himself that Sethe was too generous with other people. He especially didn’t like the fact that she let in Beloved. There was a weird feeling he had about Beloved.

Taking note on characters and relationships, Beloved and Denver had a strange relationship. They both had different behaviors led by their drives. With all brothers and sisters gone, Denver was so happy to welcome Beloved into their home. Denver adored her, cared for her, and looked up to her as if Beloved was her sister. The way she acted with Beloved and protected her was driven by her id. Her id was driven by wanting to have someone close to her. On the other hand, Beloved was attracted to Sethe’s attention. She didn’t let anyone get in the way, not even Denver. When Denver tried to tell Beloved to not get so close to her mother Sethe, Beloved snapped telling her to not tell her what to do.

These mixed behaviors and drives are a crash. As Sethe helps others, such as Beloved, Beloved gets drawn closer to her, followed by Denver who wants to keep Beloved close to her, and then Paul D who wants to protect Sethe. Many of the drives among these characters are crashing amongst others.

Circling Around History

Indiana State University analyzes Toni Morrison’s story, Beloved through the context of

circularity. Morrison intertwines African American ways of writing resulting in a circular fashion of writing. Circularity is a technique that Toni Morrison has used in her previous works as well. According to Indiana State University, this novel is based on circularity. Circularity is described as never-ending.

The event in which Sethe leads to tell Paul D about killing her infant is like a storm. She goes around and around Paul D as she confesses her twisted love as
a mother. Furthermore, killing that child results in a baby ghost who leaves but then comes back as Beloved. There is event after event that seems to be reoccurring. There is no start and finish in this story. As readers finish the story one thinks that the story is over, but the truth is we are retold the history of the past. By retelling Morrison’s story of her past, her readers go through a cycle of remembering and recognizing the past. There is also circularity deeper in the family. “The generations of women repeat and dove-tail with each other.” The life of Baby Suggs is told as she would t
ake care of her children, and then it was Sethe who would dedicate herself to family. In the end, Denver is the one taking care of the family. The article describes how in time daughters replace their mothers but still live to fulfill the same purposes.

There was a lot to take in from this article. Circularity was certainly something I didn’t realize occurring in the story. Circularity doesn’t only happen in the specific events in the story, but it happens throughout the story. Many times we are tied back to events in a circular manner, resulting in a better understanding of the story. The most appealing part about this article was realizing that circularity was occurring outside of the book itself. The story circles around the world with everyone who reads it. I am happy I was able to be a part of this circulation where I was able to understand the true experiences of slavery.

Final Reflection: New Historical lens

After finishing reading Beloved and reading from a New Historical Lens I gained a lot more knowledge that I didn't have before. Reading the book through my lens was difficult because while I was reading I was also thinking about what I have to focus on and what specific things I need to learn from. But reading the book through my lens was helpful because I feel like I understood the book more in a deeper level than would have originally. Writing blogs was also helpful. I noticed Toni Morrison's perspective from writing the book and the history she used to convey her feelings and thoughts on slavery. I learned what slaves actually went through and how they felt. I learned how crucial their punishments were and how they were treated, which was not human.

Reading Beloved gave me a whole new perspective on slavery. Knowing that African American slaves were suffering and couldn't find a way out made me realize that a lot of things have changed since that time. Time has changed from having whites and blacks being separated and treated differently to now to having whites and blacks being treated the same and as actual human beings. I also learned that pasts and mistakes could be a good thing if you face them and move on and learn from the mistakes. Toni Morrison portrayed this in Beloved by sharing Sethe's and all the other main characters pasts and how they are living on with their lives with out actually moving on. With the main characters being haunted by their past it makes hard for them to move on. After I finished reading Beloved I had a knew perspective on how I see the history of slaves. Before I had an idea of how the slavery was, but now I feel like I have a stronger understanding of how and what African Americans went through in past years.

Singing slaves

While reading Beloved through a New Historical Lens I was surprised by the things the things that I have learned. One thing that I learned was that songs were used for slaves to communicate with each other. They also sang songs while they were working to feel better while working and focus more on their singing and forget about how hard the work they are doing is.

The songs that they sang was mainly about the slaves praying to God and asking him to save them from slavery. The songs that the slaves sang were was a way for them to express how they are feeling or what they are saying inside and turning it into music. All the songs that the slaves sing each have a different meaning to it. Some of the songs mean Freedom or things that they have heard or things about their owners, but the owners wouldn't know because the songs they sing is only meant for the slaves to understand. For example, a song named Wade in the Water gave the slaves a plan to escape, which was to get into the water when they escaped so that the bloodhounds won’t smell their scent. Another song named Drinking Gourd gave the slaves directions on how to escape and where to go by finding the Big Dipper and following that direction. All the songs that slaves sang all saved them and helped from slavery and into freedom.

African Americans made their own music at the time to communicate with each other and express their emotions and share that together. Now instead of playing instruments by yourself artist have access to all kinds of sounds from their computer or other different kinds of instruments.. By having this new technology people can make their kind of music and express their feeling in the music they make. Now a days there are variety kinds of music that express different kinds of emotions or feelings people have. The music from before and now hs been bringing people together with the emotions and thoughts they are feeling.

The Shadows Of Love

After finishing Beloved, I walked away with three main takeaways. The first takeaway being that motherhood is very difficult. The second takeaway is that men and women will do anything in the shadows of love. And finally the third takeaway is accepting the past and learning to move forward.

First, I learned a lot about motherhood while reading Beloved.  I learned that being a mother can be difficult, because every decision you make will affect you and your children. While reading Beloved  through a feminist lens I have realized that men do not have to bear a child like women have too. The men also do not have to take care of the children, men only have to worry about work. Women had to work, but also had to take care of their children as well as the white little children. Sethe had to feed her own children, and the white babies (236). The difference in gender roles is very prominent. While the slave men definitely have it hard, slave women seem to have it harder. Baby Suggs who was a mother too, seemed to understand Sethe's decision to kill her children, maybe because she understood  how hard it was to raise  children during slavery.  As a mother Sethe has to make tough decisions, and they primarily affected her own children.

Next, I learned that men and women will do anything in the shadows of love, meaning men and women will base their actions off of love, even if their decisions are not seen as right or wrong. For example, when Sethe tries to kill her four children, so that they do not become slaves, she believed it was an act of love. While reading this through a feminist lens, I remember the idea that women love very strongly. This could be considered a stereotype, but men are seen as very tough, and woman are seen as very vulnerable. Though many would say this is a stereotype. In the scene where Sethe tries to kill her children  she does not seem vulnerable, she seems rather tough, which is opposite of stereotypes. While the men, like Paul D and even Stamp Paid seem rather vulnerable and weak. Paul D and his tin heart and Stamp Paid changing his name, both are great example of how the men seem very vulnerable, and very tough.

Last the most important thing I learned from Beloved is how to move on. Both Sethe, Paul D, and the townspeople have a hard time moving on. Sethe never really allows herself to come to terms with what she did to Beloved, which weakens her. While Paul D tried to completely get rid of his past and locks it away, slowly memories get swept up and he does not know how to deal with them. The townspeople also do not know how to move on because they have held a long grudge over the decision Sethe made to kill her children, which ended up making Sethe feel isolated.  The act of holding back, and never moving forward hurts characters greatly, and slowly Sethe and Paul D realize the more they let go and accept, the easier it is for them to move on.

From experience, I know that moving on and forgetting the past can be difficult. I also know that people do things out of love, even when it might not be the right decision. Both men and women do this. This book was very interesting and I have learned a lot while reading Beloved through the feminist lens.

She My Daughter

( Page 236 )

BELOVED, she my daughter. She mine. See. She come back to me of her own free will and I don't have to explain a thing. I didn't have time to explain before because it had to be done quick. Quick. She had to be safe and I put her where she would be. But my love was tough and she back now. I knew she would be. Paul D ran her off so she had no choice but to come back to me in the flesh. I bet you Baby Suggs, on the other side, helped. I won't never let her go. I'll explain to her, even though I don't have to. Why I did it. How if I hadn't killed her she would have died and that is something I could not bear to happen to her. When I explain it she'll understand, because she understands everything already. I'll tend her as no mother ever tended a child, a daughter. Nobody will ever get my milk no more except my own children. I never had to give it to nobody else-- and the one time I did it was took from me--they held me down and took it. Milk that belonged to my baby. Nan had to nurse white babies and me too because Ma'am was in the rice. The little whitebabies got it first and I got what was left. Or none. There was no nursing milk to call my own. I know what it is to be without the milk that belongs to you; to have to fight and holler for it, and to have so little left. i'll tell Beloved about that; she'll understand. She my daughter. The one I managed to have milk for and to get it to her even after they stole it; after they handled me like I was the cow, no, the goat, back behind the stable because it was too nasty to stay in with the horses. But I wasn't too nasty to cook their food or take care of Mrs. Garner. I tended her like I would have tended my own mother if she needed me. If they had let her out the rice field, because I was the one she didn't throw away. I couldn't have done more for that woman than I would my own ma'am if she was to take sick and need me and I'd have stayed with her till she got well or died.

And I would have stayed after that except Nan snatched me back.

The words, “She come back to me” and  “own free will,” are some very powerful words (236). The reason why these words are so powerful, are because when someone leaves, you think that they are not going to come back. If you think about the free will of slaves  during this time, it is very hard to imagine.

In chapter 21, it begins with Sethe’s monologue about Beloved and how Beloved is “my daughter, she mine.. She come back to me of her own free will…” (236). There are a lot of complications when Beloved returns, and Sethe confronts them in her monologue. The idea that she thinks, “how if i hadn't killed her she would have died and that's something I could not bear to happen to her.” (236). How do we know this would actually happen? For all we know she has stayed alive, why does she feel that her own children would not survive? Does she believe she is stronger than what her own children will be when they are older?  Looking at this through a feminist lens I can't help but think why would she think she is stronger than her own children? Why does she feel as if she has the ability to stay alive, but her children will not? And if so, is this why she primarily didn’t kill her boys? Did she think that just hurting them was enough, but did not actually try to kill them like she did with Beloved and was so close to doing to Denver? Does she think the boys had a better chance of surviving, or did she not think at all about how she was going to hurt her own children?

When Sethe says, “Nobody will ever get my milk no more except my own children ...I know what it is like to be without the milk that belongs to you;..”(236), the reference to milk is very powerful. It’s powerful because she is talking about her own mother here. How she was deprived from her own mother’s milk. The white children drank from her mom, as the white children drank Sethe’s milk. Sethe does not like how her own children are not drinking from her. She will not let this again happen to Beloved. Beloved will have the love and care from Sethe. While reading this through a feminist lens I discovered that there is no masculinity in the fact that she gets her milk stolen from her by men. She got tied down while they stole her milk. She is seen as weak. She is not able to provide for her own children. Milk can only be  provided by women, and not men. It is disgusting that men take this away from her. She feels as if this was the worst thing that happened to Sethe, because she knows how it is to not have her owns mother’s milk. That connection is lost and she does not want Beloved to have that relationship broken.

Lastly, from analyzing this passage I realized that Sethe mentions a lot about how Beloved will “understand” (236). This was mentioned a few times. This seems as if she is trying to convince herself that Beloved will understand exactly how Sethe feels. While looking at this through a feminist lens I also could tell that women are seen as forgiving. Females are also able to understand emotionally and physically, so do men, but not as much as women. Comparing this to how Paul D left Sethe and did not allow Sethe to explain to him why she killed her own children. He left and was not understanding nor forgiving, while Beloved managed to forgive Sethe, and so did Denver. While the two boys of Sethe did not forgive her, but ran away from her. This makes me think that women were primarily seen as forgiving and understanding in Beloved.